No Regrets Page 3
Linder knocked on Mark’s door and jumped in surprise when the door opened right away. Mark grinned at Linder as he shrugged into a jacket. Stepping outside, Mark closed the door and grabbed Linder’s hand.
“C’mon Linder,” Mark said pulling Linder down the walkway, “Dad decided he wanted to cook for the kids so we’re going out for dinner.”
“Won’t your dad mind that you’re not there for his cooking?” asked Linder.
“Nah, he told me to take off and have a busser’s holiday with you.” Explained Mark “How about Dine Downtown?”
“Sure, I could go for their burgers. Hey, did you bring any quarters with you?” Linder responded.
“Of course. Would I go to Dine Downtown without change for the best jukebox in town?” Mark said grinning at Linder, “How’d the essay go?”
“Huh? Oh, with David. Better than I thought.” Linder said.
“That’s good.”
“Yeah, it is.” said Linder smiling at Mark.
***
Mark and Linder sat at a window booth in Dine Downtown. Dine Downtown was a local spot and a favourite of Mark and Linder’s. The restaurant was fashioned after the diners of the 1950’s including colourful booths, a jukebox and an old fashioned soda fountain.
After ordering burgers, Mark shoved some quarters at Linder so he could put some music on the jukebox. Linder loved the jukebox with its mix of classic songs and new music. Mark always laughed at him but Linder enjoyed debating over the choices to find just the right mix of songs. After a bit of thought, Linder went with Elvis, Janis Joplin, the Kinks, the Pixies, Madonna and the Flaming Lips.
Grinning happily to himself, Linder started back across the diner to his table. Linder heard the click of the jukebox starting and wondered if Mark would enjoy Jail House Rock as much as he would. Linder stopped in his tracks when he heard the beginning of the Eels instead of the King. Panicked Linder looked around the diner trying to see if anyone was watching him and trying to figure out who had chosen this song. As his gaze passed Mark, Linder saw the look of bewilderment on Marks face and realized he must look strange standing in the middle of the diner turning in circles. Taking a deep breath, Linder forced himself to smile and shrug at Mark as he walked towards the table.
“Are you ok?” Mark asked Linder as he slid into the booth, “You looked like you were having a panic attack or something for a minute.”
“I’m fine.” Linder said blushing just a bit, “I just thought I had heard someone calling my name but it must have been my imagination.”
Mark laughed and reached across the table to hold Linder’s hand, “It was probably a secret admirer of yours and I should be jealous.”
Linder laughed a bit nervously and hoped Mark didn’t notice his hands becoming clammy with sweat.
“There’s no way I’d have a secret admirer.” Linder said, “I’m nothing special, most people probably don’t even know my name.”
Mark smiled gently and squeezed Linder’s hand. “You’re special to me Linder.”
Linder awarded Mark with his first true smile of the day. “You’re special to me too.”
***
Linder paced the front porch as he waited for David to open the door. Someone had put the Eels on the jukebox three times during his dinner last night with Mark. Linder hadn’t seen anyone special using the jukebox but it was not an easy thing since almost every diner there put on a song or two they liked. Linder’s morning had started off with a surprise as well. When he opened the door to head out to school, there was a red rose tied with a bow and a note that said “You’re the reason I smile”.
David opened the door and stepped outside with Wasso. Seeing the look in Linder’s eyes, David turned to Wasso and quietly said “Why don’t you head over to Mark’s and tell him that Linder and I will see you guys at school.”
“Ok” Wasso said eyeing Linder just a little. Wasso bent down to give David a quick kiss before striding off down the street.
“You all right Linder?” David asked, “You look a bit worried.”
“I don’t know if I can take anymore David. Three times last night. Three times! Then the flower. How am I supposed to deal with flowers?” Linder rushed through the words, “I don’t know how Mark never noticed I jumped whenever the Eels came on last night. Three times! It had to be someone at the diner, but I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Three times and now a rose!”
“Linder! Calm down. Take a deep breath” David said gently grabbing Linder by the shoulders so he’d pay attention. “Breathe Linder, breathe. Start at the beginning, I didn’t get much sense out of what you just said.”
Linder took a deep breath then started over. “I went out to dinner with Mark last night at Dine Downtown. While we were there, someone put the Eels on three times. The first time started just after I finished selecting my own songs on the jukebox. I almost fainted when it started to play. By the third time I wanted to stand up and scream for whoever was putting them on to leave me alone. Then this morning, this is on my doorstep.” Linder shoved the rose at David and watched nervously as David read the attached note.
Whistling softly, David murmured “Man, someone really likes you. I’d be flattered if someone went through this much trouble for me.”
“Flattered? Ha.” Linder sneered, “I should be flattered that someone is trying to break up Mark and I?”
David thought for a moment before saying anything. “For some reason I don’t think they are trying to break up you and Mark, I think they’d be more direct if they wanted to achieve that. I think maybe this person is just letting you know that they are out there.”
Linder opened his mouth for another sarcastic retort then closed it with a snap. What if the person was just letting him know that there’s someone out there who liked him? Linder didn’t even know if this person was a boy or a girl. If he kept ignoring the things that were left for him and showed no signs he even got them, maybe this person would leave him alone. It must be obvious that Linder was happy with Mark. It was obvious, wasn’t it?
“Maybe you’re right David. I should just ignore it all. I can see how you think it’s flattering but I love Mark and I don’t want to be with anyone else. I wouldn’t leave Mark for anything or anyone – not even you.” Linder said.
“What?” David asked staring at Linder with wide eyes. “What did you just say?”
“Huh? I just said that I love Mark and would never leave him for anyone else.” Linder said confused.
“No. You just said you’d never leave Mark for anyone else, not even me.” David told Linder.
“I did?” Linder said with a blush. “I, uh, I’m not sure why I said that. Are you sure I said that?”
David looked at the blush on Linder’s face and decided not to leave it alone, he wanted to know what Linder meant by that.
“You did say that Linder. Why would you say that?”
“Um. I-i-it’s nothing David. I-I guess it’s c-c-cause you’re my best friend and all…” Linder said obviously hedging the question. “Come on, we’re going to be late for school.”
“Linder, I know I should drop this but I won’t. You’ve been with Mark pretty much from the moment we met. Why would you even think of me?” David said taking a seat on the front steps and grabbing Linder’s arm so he had to sit beside David.
“Look, it’s nothing. It’s no big deal. It’s just…just…well, I knew you before I met Mark.” Linder said looking away, “I’ve known you for years.”
“You have?” asked David, “Well, I guess we must have had other classes together but I don’t remember meeting you before Mark introduced us.”
“Well, err, you never noticed me before that I guess. But I noticed you. I’ve always noticed you, ever since fourth grade.” Linder said uncomfortably, “Look, can we just forget this and go to school? We’re already late.”
“No.” David said, “I can’t just let this go Linder. You’re my closest friend other than Wasso. Now you’re telling me you’ve known of me since the fourth grade and you make it sound as if you liked me or something.”
Linder stood up and walked to the end of the porch, looking over at the neighbours dog, he quietly spoke, “I did David. I liked you for years. In the fourth grade, you pulled Jim Cora off of me when he was beating me up. You saved me even though you got hurt badly. I liked you for years after that, before I met Mark.”
David got up and walked over to Linder. “I remember that. I remember I pulled Jim off some kid. God, I got my ass kicked that day. I ended up with ten stitches and still have a scar from that. That was you?”
Linder turned towards David, not quite able to meet his eyes. “Yeah, that was me. I followed you around for months after that but could never get the nerve to talk to you. I wasn’t really surprised that you didn’t recognize me when Mark introduced us. I was so embarrassed that day. Here I was with a guy I was starting to really like and he was ‘introducing’ me to the guy I’d had a crush on forever. I could barely talk and I’m sure my face was bright red.”
David smiled, “Yeah, it was. I thought it was just because Mark was holding your hand. God how I hated you in that moment. Heh, sorry about that.”
Linder looked up at David’s face and smiled back, “Yeah, that glare you gave me sure scared me for a while. I couldn’t talk to you for weeks after that glare.”
David shrugged, “And now look at us. Two best friends in amazing relationships with other guys talking about a crush between them.”
Linder blushed again, “I can’t believe I said that. I planned on never telling you about my old crush.”
David gently took hold of Linder’s chin forcing Linder to look at him, “I’m glad you did. I’m sorry I didn’t know about it before. I’m sorry I never saw you.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Linder said blushing even harder, “It was all a long time ago now.”
“Yeah, I guess it was.” David said quietly, “But still, I’m sorry.”
Not letting go of Linder’s face, David leaned down and gently pressed his lips to Linder’s. David backed off just a bit and let go of Linder’s face. Looking in Linder’s eyes, David tried to figure out why he had done that.